


part one: changing as the wind

by orphan_account



Series: no-game au [1]
Category: Vast Error
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Gen, No Game AU, Slice of Life, Trans Female Character, sibling relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 01:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21486112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: arcjec...... girl fever
Series: no-game au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548694
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	part one: changing as the wind

**Author's Note:**

> this ones pretty short but i plan on doing a bunch of little interconnecting oneshots with this so here goes o7

> Be Arcjec.

Your name is ARCJEC VOORAT and you’re looking at your reflection, and it doesn’t feel real at all. But... in a good way rather than anything less than favorable. You suddenly don’t hate yourself as much as you used to. You can look in the mirror and feel a sense of satisfaction with the person looking back.

But you didn’t get here on a whim, exactly.

You’ve recently undergone hormone therapy over the past few blinks, which... definitely helped what was bothering you. Your hair’s grown out to your shoulders, still as messy as it always has been, but it feels better this time. It feels new and natural. You’re getting out of your comfort zone too; wearing the hand-sewn skirts Ellsee lended you, working on pitching up your voice from that dreadful low drone that never made the effort to shut up.

It’s been a long time since you’ve felt genuinely happy. Not the kind of happy you were before the... incident; that was somewhat false, just ignorant childhood bliss that was bound to be ruined sooner rather than later. But that was then, and this is now. You’re at peace, for the most part; the first step to taking you up to recovery was acceptance. Acceptance of not only the state your planet was in and its inevitable cycle of deconstruction and reconstruction, but also acceptance of yourself. 

But in any case, things seem to be better. You’re in the reconstruction phase. 

How did you get here?

> Arcjec: Have a flashback.

You are laying on the ground like an idiot. Your respiteblock is messy as ever, though the motivation to actually clean it has slowly been crawling back to you recently, for reasons you can’t really place. But you’re too deep in “the zone” to get up and do that right now. You’d much rather stare at nothing and dive deep into meaningless contemplation.

The moons have just begun to break over the horizon to bring forth the duodecimal hours of the night. Your eyes are bloodshot, weighed with bags from the time you’ve spent in unrest, head ticking like a broken clock. And yet, you don’t feel tired enough to sleep.

What else will you do?

> Arcjec: Recall recent events.

A lot of things have happened in the past few wices. You were expecting the world to end sooner rather than later, sitting in what felt like an eternal pool of existential dread and all-consuming apathy that couldn’t really be fixed at all. But miraculously, things started to change. 

You got out of your ‘coon one day and suddenly the planet wasn’t dying anymore.

It’s unclear why or how this happened, but bottom-line is, you feel relieved, even though there’s still loads of damage that needs to be repaired. The Heir has been doing his damndest to make amends, as Corporate is sort of a fucking mess right now. As if it hadn’t always been (but you keep that thought to yourself for now). Tensions are still high in that regard, as they’re on the brink of total collapse, conflicting with many other forces working against them. You have a feeling it’s not going to be pretty when it all comes tumbling down.

On the other hand; the air has started feeling clearer, and the blackness of the oceans has begun to recede bit by bit, by nature of some cosmic forces you could easily put two well-known names to. It all feels like a very weird dream, but there’s no way dreams could possibly last this long.

You’ve spent this time rethinking a lot of decisions, rethinking how you treat your friends, rethinking how you treat yourself. You’ve mostly gotten off your Code Red addiction, too; though you can’t say you don’t take the occasional sip. All this thinking you’ve been doing has got you feeling like something is horribly wrong with you, not in the “you’re a horrible dangerous person” kind of way, but in a way that just makes you straight-up uncomfortable in your own skin.

Who are you? What would you rather be?

You’d like to know the answers yourself.

> Arcjec: Stand up.

You push yourself to your feet with a groan, immediately feeling dizzy from being on the floor for so long. You hadn’t even realized just how long it’s been, actually.

You reluctantly pick up a stray can of soda to gulp down; the shivers it always sends up your spine is worth the lukewarm flatness of having left it open and half-sipped for 12 straight hours.

You wander about your hive, passing by each room with a sense of distaste for its mediocrity and overall staleness. Same clutter all over the floor, same boring orange wallpaper everywhere, same carpet that hasn’t been vacuumed for months... sweeps, even. It smells just as dull and stuffy as it looks. A change of scenery would be nice, you think.

> Arcjec: Go outside.

You take a breather in the fresh evening air, watching as the sky gets darker with every passing second. The trees seem more vibrant and alive than they did before; you swear you can hear the chirping of birds in the woodland. 

It’s not often that you actually take a step out of your respiteblock. Last time you did this, it was purely an accidental mishap that involved a tumble out a window and a particularly messy splash of mud. Your back still kind of aches.

You go back inside anyways, sneering at the unkemptness. You walk back up to your respiteblock, still churning in discomfort.

> Arcjec: Bother Ellsee.

\-- animatedHumorist [AH] began trolling existereOracle [EO] \--  
  
AH: XDXD How has my favorite and only blood-bonded comrade been? XDXD  
EO: Aw, I’m your favoritΣ¿¿¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD Obviously. Who the fuck else could I possibly refer to. XDXD  
EO: No nΣΣd for thΣ uncallΣd-for bluntnΣss¡¡¡¡¡¡  
EO: I’vΣ bΣΣn doing prΣtty good, all things considΣrΣd. Hadn’t had anyonΣ attΣmpt to murdΣr mΣ sincΣ thΣ all-mothΣr got up and fixΣd.  
EO: And I got to sΣΣ OccΣus yΣstΣrday, can you bΣliΣvΣ it¡¡¡¡¡¡  
AH: XDXD I wouldn’t if you didn’t sound so ecstatic. XDXD  
EO: I mΣan, if I’m bΣing honΣst, it’s bΣΣn a littlΣ hΣctic. I’m worriΣd for him.  
EO: But at lΣast that grΣasy bastard isn’t trying to kill mΣ anymorΣ.  
EO: How about you, thΣn¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD Subpar, to say the least. XDXD  
EO: Aw, how comΣ¿¿¿¿  
EO: ΣvΣrything’s bΣΣn such a brΣath of frΣsh air latΣly.  
AH: XDXD Maybe for everyone else. I’ve been stewing in my own thought fluids for a wice and it feels like every tick that passes, I only grow more hyper-aware of how gross and uncomfortable I feel just by doing the mere task of existing and having a tangible form. XDXD  
AH: XDXD I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. XDXD  
EO: =:(¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿  
EO: UncomfortablΣ in what way¿¿¿¿  
EO: ...How long has it bΣΣn sincΣ you did your laundry¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD See, I thought that was what was bugging me. I’ve gone through every conceivable outfit at my disposal and all of it still makes me feel wrong. XDXD  
AH: XDXD Every day I look in the mirror and someone I don’t know is looking back. XDXD  
AH: XDXD Is it normal to feel completely detached from yourself? XDXD  
EO: I wouldn’t think so.  
EO: Hmmmm...  
EO: Could it bΣ just anothΣr casΣ of ΣvΣry-day sΣlf loathing at play¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD I don’t think so. XDXD  
EO: What would you want to changΣ about your appΣarancΣ to makΣ you... not hatΣ looking at it¿¿¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD That’s a good question. XDXD  
AH: XDXD I have no fucking clue. XDXD  
AH: XDXD I don’t know if this does anything to stir the idea pot, but I have been feeling lately like I want to be someone completely different. XDXD  
AH: XDXD Like maybe pretending to not be who I am would somehow fix it? XDXD  
AH: XDXD Just to change my identity on a dime and start over; that sounds like a blissful dream made in the most decadent of fantasies crafted by people who only know how to get away from their own mind. XDXD  
EO: So... you want to look diffΣrΣnt and bΣ a diffΣrΣnt pΣrson altogΣthΣr¿¿¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD Kind of, yes. XDXD  
EO: ArcjΣc...  
EO: I think you’rΣ just trans.  
AH: XDXD ... XDXD  
AH: XDXD Oh my god. XDXD  
AH: XDXD Is that it? Are you fucking kidding me? XDXD

> Arcjec...?: Facepalm.

You do that.

AH: XDXD Holy shit. XDXD  
AH: XDXD Ellsee, I’m losing my fucking mind. XDXD  
EO: LMAO  
EO: DID IT TAKΣ YOU THAT LONG¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD What the fuck do I do now???? XDXD  
EO: Do you fΣΣl likΣ a namΣ changΣ is nΣcΣssary¿¿   
AH: XDXD Names are complete nonsense to begin with, so, no. XDXD  
EO: Right.  
AH: XDXD ...Can you refer to me as she/her? I want to know if it feels right. XDXD  
EO: I can do that¡¡¡¡¡¡  
EO: What should I say...  
AH: XDXD Something invalidating. XDXD  
EO: Okay¡¡¡¡  
EO: This is my good friΣnd ArcjΣc, shΣ hasn’t bΣΣn outsidΣ in twΣlvΣ swΣΣps and shΣ’s not starting now.  
AH: XDXD That is NOT true. XDXD  
AH: XDXD You made me fall out a window the other wice because you decided tossing a fucking pebble at it would garner my attention. XDXD  
AH: XDXD And I just went and watched the moonrise. Fuck you. XDXD  
EO: It might as wΣll bΣ truΣ¡¡¡¡¡¡  
EO: I bΣt you only starΣd at thΣ sky for likΣ lΣss than a minutΣ bΣforΣ you immΣdiatΣly rΣtrΣatΣd.  
AH: XDXD I would say that I didn’t ask to be called out so harshly, but I kind of literally did, so. You win this one. XDXD  
EO: HΣhΣ.  
EO: DoΣs that fΣΣl right thΣn¿¿¿¿  
AH: XDXD Yeah. It does. XDXD  
AH: XDXD How am I going to go about bringing this up to everyone else? XDXD  
AH: XDXD I don’t want to make a big display of it. That feels weird. XDXD  
EO: You don’t havΣ to.  
EO: It’s okay to lΣt it happΣn slowly. You could work on maybΣ prΣsΣnting diffΣrΣntly for now¿¿¿¿  
EO: I havΣ a fΣw skirts you might likΣ, if you’rΣ up to that.  
AH: XDXD ...That sounds good. XDXD  
AH: XDXD Thanks. For the talk, I mean. XDXD  
EO: AnytimΣ¡¡¡¡¡¡  
EO: If you ΣvΣr wanna kΣΣp discussing this, you know whΣrΣ to rΣach mΣ. I’d bΣ plΣasurΣd to hΣlp you out.  
AH: XDXD I’ll remember. See you, for now. XDXD  
EO: ByΣΣΣΣ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡  
  
\-- animatedHumorist [AH] ceased trolling existereOracle [EO] \--


End file.
